Matched Ch. 5

After our meeting, Gage walked me home while the others hung back and talked for a bit longer, not about the plan from what I could hear, but just normal talk that I knew I would never be a part of. I hated feeling like an outsider with my fellow classmates. I wasn’t exactly friends with any of them, except Lily who wasn’t involved, but I knew a lot about each of them and it hurt me to think that they knew each other in a way they had never bothered to let me in on. Gage and I walked in silence for a bit as I thought about being an outsider in my own class.
“I hope that Ivan didn’t bother you too much. He can be a bit of a hot head sometimes, but he’s just worried about getting out of here. He wants to leave almost as much as I do and anything threat to this plan makes him get a little nuts.”
I nodded feeling a little offended that I was considered a threat to the plan in someone’s eyes.
“Well, I get that. I just don’t understand what makes him think that I am such a good girl. That I would never be willing to take a chance and that I was such a good girl that I would go and report the only peers I have ever really known. I just don’t understand how someone who has grown up with me could think so low of me.”
Gage stopped walking and looked at me with a bit of amusement mixed with concern. “Look, Liz, ever since we started schooling together you have always been the girl to raise her hand, the girl to answer the questions right, to be the teacher’s pet, to obey the rules and not cause any trouble. You are right, you were never one to tell on anyone, but I think that Ivan remembers how you would always listen to what teachers and other members of authority would tell you to do without even second guessing the reason. He just worries that if the moment came where you had to make a choice between obeying the Government and coming with us that you wouldn’t choose us.”
I sighed, “I can’t believe that we have all been in class together for so long, and yet none of you seem to really even know me. I mean honestly. If you did, you would know that I hate being the girl who always does what they’re told, who constantly accepts that this life isn’t her own but one created for me by a group of people I’ve never even met. You would know that I have never wanted anything more than to be on my own making my own choices, my own decisions and my own mistakes. I don’t want everything to be made up for me. I want to live the way I want, but I just don’t know how. So really, I can’t believe my own classmates would think that I would just turn them in like some snitch.
He looked at me amused and then started walking again. “You’re very funny when you’re angry,” he replied.
I sighed again, feeling somewhat defeated. I didn’t know what I was even thinking telling him how I felt about anything. He was no help. “Yea, well I’m glad you’re entertained.”
“You know what your problem is Liz?” He asked.
“What?” I replied growing irritated.
“You take everything way too seriously. You should just let what Ivan said roll right off your back. Prove him wrong just like you’ve proven me wrong. Don’t let him or anyone get you down. Stop taking what everyone says so seriously. You know who you are, so don’t worry about the rest.”
“I proved you wrong?” I asked as my house started to come into view in the distance.
“Yea, you did. Surprisingly enough.”
“About what?” I asked somewhat surprised.
“Well, you’re much more brave than I thought you were. Also you have a bit of an attitude that I never knew about, but I like it.”
I held back my smile, trying to pretend that his compliment hadn’t meant that much to me. “Thanks I guess.”
“Yea, well, I suppose that this is where I say goodbye since your house is just over there. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Bye Gage,” I replied as we parted ways. I walked the short rest of the way to my house trying to process my emotions.
That night I laid in bed staring at my ceiling feeling completely unable to fall asleep. My mind kept wondering to Gage and my other classmates. I couldn’t help but wonder if I would be invited to the next meeting, and if I was what that next meeting would be like. I couldn’t help but think of Liam as well, although I tried my best not to. In a way I was happy that he was in on Gage’s plan. Maybe if we did actually escape there was a chance that Liam and I could be something. I sighed knowing that to actually be something with someone you had to actually be able to talk to them without being completely nervous. It was kind of interesting how you could grow up around someone and yet still be nervous to talk to them. I suppose it was always that way. When we were younger all of the kids in our class would get together and play no problem. Now that we were older and the matching process and whatnot was beginning to come into play, our lives were growing increasingly more complicated and socializing with one another seemed to be more difficult than it had been before. The only person who it was easier for me to talk to now was Gage, and that was partially because we had never really gotten along in the past.
As I laid in bed thinking, I heard a loud noise at my window which made me jump. The loud noise was accompanied by a laugh, which I assumed was because I had been startled so much. I knew who it was after that laugh and I got up out of bed quite annoyed that he would bother me at this time of night.
I went over to my window and opened it so Gage and I could talk. “What do you want?” I asked sounding obviously irritated.
He shrugged. “Just to talk. Can I come in?”
I shook my head, but he seemed to take that as a yes and hopped right through the window into my room.
“What do you think you’re doing? If my parents wake up and find you here they will definitely be unhappy with both of us.”
“Relax, you’re parents love me, besides, I’m your match so we’ll be sharing a room eventually anyway.”
“Hopefully not. Hopefully we can leave here and avoid that.”
A smirk erupted on his face and he sat on my bed. “You mean you don’t want to spend the rest of your life with this?” he asked pointing to himself.
I shook my head, but I couldn’t help but smile just a bit. “No, sorry. I have higher standards than you, it’s the Government who apparently doesn’t.”
“Ouch,” he replied as I sat down next to him on my bed.
“So what are you really doing here?” I asked trying to get to the point. There was no way he’d just come here to enjoy my company.
He pulled out a small leather bound journal from his pocket and handed it to me. I turned it over in my hands, feeling the smooth leather cover that seemed to be a bit old and worn. I opened up the cover and read the name of the owner. The name was Adam Rosewood. I looked at Gage wondering if this was his Grandpa’s journal. I asked him whether or not it was his grandpa’s journal and he nodded, then took it back from me and started flipping through the pages. He stopped on a page and then handed it to me.
“Read that page,” he instructed pointing to the page on the right. His grandpa’s handwriting was small and hard to read especially without a lot of light, but from what I could make out, it said:
Today some of my coworkers were talking about the assassination of our dictator, saying that this was going to change the rules and change what freedoms we were going to have. They sounded excited to have him gone. I was happy about it too, but I know the implications of this perhaps more than they seem to. The Government is angry. They will strike back. I worry that they will direct their anger to all of us citizens. I’m keeping my mouth shut so they don’t harm my family. My coworkers are a bunch of fools. I don’t know how, and I don’t know when, but the Government hears what people say and these guys are going to end up disappearing or getting themselves killed. Not me. I’m just going to keep my mouth shut and stay alive. I have a strange feeling things around here are going to drastically change.
When I finished reading I looked over at Gage, who quietly took back the journal. Silently, he flipped to another page and I couldn’t help sitting there worrying what I was about to read. The entry I had just read had been nothing short of ominous, and I wasn’t ready to hear much worse.
“This one is where it gets interesting,” Gage said, pointing to the bottom of the left page. It said:
Everything is gone. My house, my life, everything, the whole damn world is gone for all I know. I had a feeling this would happen. I had a feeling the Government would strike back and take everything from us. Those who fought against the Government are all dead. Every last one of them. They took the rest of us to some domes or something. Told us we were going to live here now. I don’t know where my Jenny or Sam is, all I have here is my baby girl, Elise. I’m terrified that they’re going to kill us here. I just hope for my daughter’s sake they don’t.
I shut the journal and sighed. I looked over at Gage who was staring at the ground looking both thoughtful and sad. I couldn’t believe what I was reading. The way we learned in history made it sound like the people brought into our Sections, or domes as they seemed to be calling it, were saved and happy to be saved. His grandpa didn’t seem happy at all. He sounded like he was terrified.
“Gage, I don’t understand why they would do this. I’m starting to really question everything. I just don’t understand.”
He looked over at me and shook his head. “Control, Liz, they wanted control. When they thought they were losing it, they took drastic measures to ensure they would never lose it again, and here we are. Most of us think the Government was our savior, so we’re complacent and don’t try to stand up for ourselves. Hell, have you ever even seen the Government? I haven’t, but they rule us just the same and control us just the same by telling us who to be with, giving us clothes to wear, and food to eat, and information to learn. Soon, we’ll be doing a job that they gave us to. Why? Because we think that they saved us, when in reality, they didn’t save anything.”
I looked at the floor and thought for a moment. We never did see the Government officials. We saw the building and we knew that they controlled us, but we never really saw them. I shuddered knowing that somehow they saw us, and I worried that they already knew we had broken into the library and that we were meeting in the woods.
I took Gage’s hand and I felt a tear roll down my cheek. For the first time during this whole plan to run away I was really scared. He looked over at me in the darkness and I quickly wiped my tears away worried he was going to make fun of me for crying, but I didn’t let go of his hand. He smiled at me softly.
“Hey, I won’t let anything happen to you. I know we’ve only been in on this together for a little while, and we weren’t really friends before, but I promise nothing will happen to you. I’ll take the wrap for everything if the Government finds out. I won’t let you get hurt.”
I smiled a little and took my hand out of his. “Since when did you care about me?” I asked sarcastically.
He nudged me. “Since, I had to start relying on you for my plan to work since, for the time being, I’m stuck with you.”
I laughed at his blunt statement. “Thanks, you’re so sweet,” I replied sarcastically.
“But really,” he said, “I care about you. You’re not just important to my escape plan.”
I smiled, feeling his sincerity this time, realizing that I cared about him as well, even though I wasn’t about to say that. I wasn’t as bold as him.
He looked around the room as if he was suddenly aware of where he was and he stood up, putting his grandpa’s journal in his pocket as he did.
“Well, I really must be going. We won’t be meeting in the woods as a group tomorrow. We don’t want to meet too often so as to raise suspicion.”
He walked over to the window and started to go through it, but before he was all the way out, he looked at me and said, “Good night Liz.” Before I could reply back he was through the window and gone. I walked over and shut the window, realizing as he left that I wished he hadn’t. For the first time I really felt like we were in this together, not because we had to be, but because we wanted to be.